according to a university survey (w a rllyyyy small sample size), 7.3% of the japanese population hve a porn addiction. to put tht in perspective, 2% of japanese people have used drugs at least once in their lives (not even accounting for drug addictions!!). which means that ppl in japan are far more likely to get a porn addiction than a drug addiction.
u guys r probably not surprised to know tht i am part of the 7.3%. most days i feel like it doesnt rlly ‘ruin’ my life, but sometimes i forget that sex is supposed to have love, care & intimacy in a way porn will never show me. i felt tht mayb it was just about getting slapped n punched n being told abusive things,,, and as much as i still enjoy the idea of being a masochist n hving all those things done to me, i completely forgot tht sex also encompasses so many things like aftercare n mking sure ur partner is okay,, things tht the industry will never show u.
as a virgin, it was so sad when i first realised the effects porn had on me even before i ever had sex for the first time. i started getting numb to the fact that so many porn stars (esp girls) go through so much abuse in that industry. i didnt care wht kind of porn i would see on twitter as long as it got me off,,, i stopped checking the sources to see if it was even consensual or not. which is so scary to admit..
it led be to develop an eating disorder bc so many of my fav porn stars were literally so skinny n so perfect !! i thought watching more curvier women in JAV would help it but i realised tht even the "curvier" women in porn were only "curvy" in some areas tht it made it impossible for them to even hve tht body without surgery.
for men (who mke up most of my followers), consuming porn can be even more dangerous!! here is something tht i found as a reddit post on r/todayilearned:
there r evidence that, for men, consuming porn literally changes the structure of ur brain. it can cause erectile dysfunction. it can make u unable to separate ur kinks from reality to the point where it can genuinely make u hate women. the porn industry relies on ppl of across genders to hate eachother so tht more hateful kinks involving violence can feel more pleasurable.american serial killer ted bundy literally blamed his growing porn addiction for the reason why he went on a murder spree.
porn taught me to love violence ,,,, i still love the idea of someone holding a knife to my neck while using me, or leaving countless bruises all over my body (my tumblr is evidence of tht lol). but porn never taught me to love consensual violence. it never tried to teach me tht there should be some limits n rules to discuss before it happens. eventually all i craved was non consensual violence done to me bc i thought tht was the only way i could ever get off.
tips n advice !!
during my time away from the internet, i wnted to mke sure i would hve a healthy relationship with porn. for so many ppl, ending ur porn addiction can mean different things with different final goals. to some, its to mke sure they stop watching porn altogether. to others, it meant only consuming ethical porn.
for me, my aim was to reduce how much porn i watched to the point where i wudnt spend entire nights staying awake n rubbing myself. i still wnna continue mking the nsfw posts i make n be seen as an online slut bc tht brings meeee so much pleasuree. i dont wnna ignore the CRAZY kinks tht i have because i feel like tht will only mke me relapse n spiral into porn again
but whether ur goals n aims are different from mine, here r some things tht helped me significantly reduce my porn consumption !!!
read instead !!!
and nooo i dont mean like a boring novel or someone’s autobiography lol. i mean actual erotica that matches ur kinks. tht way u can still have fun w urself while also not forgetting that intimacy & feelings can be part of sex too 🫶 plus it means u r not supporting an industry where so many performers might be abused or exploited
personally, i use tumblr and archiveofourown.org/ for some AMAZINGGGG n degradinggg reads lol. i also use lots of japanese text websites but since this blog post is in english, i feel like most who read this wont know japanese. if u do, pls feel free to msg meee n ill share uuu my big list of smut websites lol
consume hentai mangas/pornwhas.
ok this is kind of controversial so pls be careful taking this advice but this helped meee so much sooooo. the most wholesome n the cutest and most loving nsfw content i consume are doujins !!! it stops uuu from doom scrolling for new videos n sidesteps the issue of exploited porn stars as i mentioned above. ofc doujins can feature all kinds of taboo kinks too, so it is good to blacklist popular tags tht can harm u (or only view tags tht feature healthy sex like "wholesome" or "vanilla")
delete X n reddit
these websites r HORRIBLE for someone with a porn addiction. they mke porn so accessible tht even if u choose to hide all nsfw/sensitive content, u will still find it through the algorithm !! if uu r looking to REPLACE them instead of fully deleting them, maybe use fetlife as it has a much healthier community of sex obssessed ppl.
delete instagram n tiktok
this is more for my male followers bc i never had this issue but i saw online tht instagram n tiktok intentionally pushes softcore porn to ur reels if they know u r a boy !!! this always turns into the first step into relapsing. pls pls pls be careful of this n i also heard tht lots of these thirst traps r made by girls who r under aged !!!!!!
avoid misogynistic "no fap" content creators
as a girl with a porn addiction, it was rlly hard for me to find a community tht helped me online because most no fap communities felt like they placed the blame on women n girls. lots of ppl who hve tried to end their porn addiction have fallen into macho men pipelines made by ppl similar to andrew tate who dont do anything about ending porn addiction but instead find a way to blame the addiction on someone else. in japan,,, it is even worse. lots of no fap communities here hve tried to convince men tht they will never find love, which hve led lots of japanese boys tht r my age to fall into the trap of watching porn to fill tht emptiness inside of them. this is not helpful!!! pls look for communities tht r less divisive n r not fueled with hate. pls understand tht lots of ppl will try n exploit ur addiction n ur vulnerabilities for their own gain, whether it is to mke u join their monthly subscription lessons on how to be more "manly", or to mke u target ppl tht they scapegoat n hate.
since i hve been mostly in japanese communities, i dont rlly know any websites or discord servers tht hve a healthy community. if u know one, pls dm me on ig so i can add it here !!!
talk to ppl !!!
the WORST thing about a porn addiction is tht it is harder to admit it more than other addictions bc it can be humiliating. there is a big stigma with watching porn even though SO many ppl watch it. as a girl, i feel tht the stigma is even bigger bc we r often not expected to watch porn even though lots of women do. but there will be ppl who will still listen to uuu ,,, maybe its ur country's addiction helpline or maybe its ur friend. none of my friends know about the kinds of things i post online as neutralhoneymilkers, but it took me a lot of courage to tell my closest friend ever about my porn addiction. it was the best decision i hve ever made. she was so understanding n she made sure to check up on me all the time. knowing tht there is even one person who wants to see u overcome ur addiction helps so much bc it makes u more pressured to achieve it
whenever uu feel triggered to watch porn, take a super cold shower
OK IDK IF THIS WORKS FOR EVERYONE but this helped me so much bc i hate cold showers n when i tied watching porn to doing something i hate, it just made me kinda dislike watching porn moreee !!! also i heard being cold affects ur libido n mkes u less aroused soooo :3
use extensions tht ban porn websites
for the ppl who r living in europe with the porn ban u dont need to read this lol but for me wht helped is hving a google chrome extension where i can put urls of the porn websites tht i visit the most n then just ban them !!!! its not the BEST solution bc u can always turn it off but umm mayb u can set a fingerprint lock on it tht only ur siblings or friends can unlock lol :3
whenever u hve a trigger, physically tell urself about it !!
since i communicate in jsl, whenever i feel like i wnna watch porn i always sign to myself saying "right now naoko's brain is telling naoko to watch porn but naoko must resist" LOL its so corny but blaming ur brain for it HELPS SO MUCH bc u kinda guilt urself which mkes u not wna do it
place a mirror near where uuu normally watch porn (ur table, ur bed etc)
n position it so tht it highlights ur face. sometimes watching urself watching porn can b so humiliating tht it can be a turn off !! idk if this only works for me but i turn all red n squinty like this >.< n i hate seeing myselffff. it also reminds me tht im a person with an addiction n tht i should be kind to myself n want better for me as a human
pick up hobbies
THIS IS SO CLICHE N OBVIOUS BUT BALLET N GYMNASTICS N ICESKATING N IKEBANA HVE ALL SAVED MY LIFEEEEE without my hobbies i wud just hve more free timeee to touch myselfff !!! luckily things hve gotten easier for me bc school started n i also hve a weekend job BUT hobbies r wht takes up most of my timeee n its SOSOSOS HELPFUL bcc u also feel too tired to do anything else :3
tht is all the advice i hve now but i will keep updating as i find more tips !! pls msg me with any tips u might hve too so i can add to this!!
wishing uuu the best on ur journey <3 pls let me know if u found this helpful mmmmmuaaaaahhhh